UGG boots: I think they are
funny. I like it when people
look funny. I would not wear
them myself because people
would think I was a garden
Jeans under dresses or
skirts: This look can run the
risk of looking a bit mental-patient, which is probably a
good reason for adopting it.
People will leave you alone If
they think you are nuts.
Long, quilted, pu y coats:
You can go to a Halloween
party and tell people, “I came
as an oven mitt.”
Grown-out summer highlights: Tell people you are too
busy to get your roots done
because you are translating
War and Peace into Sanskrit.
Faux fur trim/collars: I love
faux fur. I am terrified of PETA.
Flip-flops in inclement
weather: This is a sign of
great physical daring and
bravery and should be
applauded. I’m a welly
Hosiery (particularly colored, patterned or textured)
with open-toed shoes: If
your toenail is poking through
your hose, make sure it is varnished a daring color—navy,
black, cerise or aubergine.
’Tis the Season
to be Eccentric
Arrive spoke with fashion expert and
pop culture commentator Simon
Doonan, creative director of Barney’s
New York and author of (most recently)
Eccentric Glamour: Creating an Insanely
More Fabulous You (Simon and Schuster,
$24), for a conversation about gift-giving rules, holiday hopes and crimes
against fashion committed by denizens
of cold-weather climes.
Arrive: What’s the biggest winter or
holiday-related crime against style?
Simon Doonan: Dressing down is a crime
against humanity. Even if you look like
an idiot, you must dress up and amuse
and entertain those around you with
a fabulous and festive ensemble. The
holidays are a great time to bust a few
fashion taboos: Look at Santa! Talk
about an avant-garde look!
What’s your take on high-waisted jeans?
If short gals wear them they look like
Amy Sedaris’ alter ego, Jerri Blank. This
is only a good thing if you are a Strangers
with Candy fan.
As a rule, should people buy one
another clothing as a holiday gift?
Keep it simple. Buy things that are “one
size only,” like oven mitts. These types
of things tend to be cheaper, which will
enable you to save money and spoil
yourself with a new pair of Louboutins
or a nice Lanvin frock.
If someone buys you
that isn’t your style (or,
let’s face it, you hate),
can you return it?
You should always wear
it, not to be polite, but
to torture your pal and
remind her of her lapse
What are you hoping
to receive as a gift this
I want to get a new CD
by Amy Winehouse.
Girlfriend! Lay o the
dope and get back to
work. You are much
too talented to waste